Riding roller coasters
These past couple of weeks I have had avalanches crashing around my ears. Sounds dramatic maybe, but I stand by it. Life has been getting up to mischief lately, falling all over itself. It’s funny, as the season ended I specifically warned myself that the unexpected was looming. Seriously, I gave myself a mental pep talk to gear up for it. I won’t deign to repeat it here but you can imagine. All power of positive thinking, embrace the uncertainty etc etc.
Then I slipped from that happy after-glow of a job well done to the blunt reality of a blank page heading up the next chapter of my life. I had prepared for this moment, of course. A few weeks ago, my friend Jackson revolutionised the way I am fumbling towards finding my something else. A list of options ranked in preference? Not the way to go, he reckoned. So I reset my thinking.
Instead of searching for jobs I thought I might like, I drafted a paragraph setting out what I knew I would love. Man, the clarity. It was great. But in all honesty it was also super general. And by that I mean when I typed my paragraph into Google it didn’t spit out a job vacancy that made my universe sing. Weird.
Nevertheless. I now had my dream job description tucked up in my pocket. I was ready for life to hit me with all the uncertainty it could muster. Oh, the power of underestimation. The next couple of weeks went along the lines of this:
Unemployed. Extreme control required to keep calm. Get a phone call: the offer of my dream job. Prospect of an immediate start causes an excited-but-nervous state of mind. Few days later: dream job is retracted. World crashes. Action mode ensues (I was never one for procrastination). Land on an alternative option and set the wheels in motion. Reality of a new dream role causes excitement to mount again. Another phone call: original job is put back on the table. How about that roller coaster called life, aye.
I somehow restrained myself from immediately drafting a pros and cons list. Instead, I asked my gut what to do. Only problem was, most inconveniently, my gut was being real quiet at that moment. I was straining to hear the tiniest murmur and I swear I heard nothing. Not that I can blame it. My head has been spinning in so many directions this past fortnight that I haven’t been able to keep up with myself. No wonder my gut was feeling a little dizzy as well.
So I gave up the interrogation and went for a run instead.
And now, I’m excited to announce that I am moving to Wellington. Like, in two days' time. No rest for the wicked, right? I am definitely going to miss my Fiordland mountains, but I hear there are a few hills around the Capital as well.